Starting nursery: why sleep changes and what helps

Settling in at nursery is going well — and suddenly sleep is the problem. The child who has slept through reliably for months wakes up twice a night again, calls for you and no longer wants to fall asleep alone. Or she gets so wired at half past seven that you’d think she had slept all day. Many parents experience this as a step backwards and wonder whether starting nursery came too early. In the vast majority of cases it didn’t: starting nursery and sleep are closely connected, because sleep responds to one of the biggest changes in a toddler’s life — often with a delay of several weeks.

The short answer: sleep changes when your child starts nursery because four things happen at once: more stimulation during the day, a nap that differs from the one at home, the experience of separation, and the first new infections. This typically shows up from week three onwards and settles for most children within six to eight weeks. The most effective lever is almost always bedtime: a child who gets less nap time at nursery needs to go to bed 20 to 45 minutes earlier in the evening.

Starting nursery and sleep: the four mechanisms behind it

More stimulation and impressions. A nursery day means ten to twelve other children, unfamiliar voices, new rules, noise and constant changes of place. A two-year-old’s brain is still processing all of that hours later — if the night feels more restless after a busy day, you are not imagining it.

A different nap. At home your child may fall asleep at 12.30 in her own bed and wake up by herself after 90 minutes. At nursery she lies down from 12.00 on a mattress in a room with six other children — and is woken at 14.00 because the afternoon programme starts. That shift carries through into the night.

Separation and catching up on closeness. Children who manage eight hours a day without their attachment figure often seek that closeness more intensely in the evening and at night. Calling out at night during this phase is frequently not a sleep problem in the narrow sense, but an attachment matter that happens to show itself at night.

New infections. The first nursery winter typically brings considerably more colds than a year at home. A blocked nose disrupts sleep reliably — and one infection has barely ended before the next begins.

Why your child gets wired in the evening instead of seeming tired

The most common misreading in this phase: “At the weekend she was tired earlier, now she’s still going strong at 8pm — she must need less sleep.” With toddlers it works the other way round. Once the point of natural tiredness is passed, the body responds with heightened alertness: the child runs, giggles uncontrollably, tips into tears in between and is hard to steer.

The more exhausted the child is after a nursery day, the later she appears ready for sleep — and the harder falling asleep actually becomes. So don’t go by the moment your child seems calm, but by the early signals: the gaze goes glassy, she rubs her ears or hair, movements get clumsier, the frustration threshold drops. On nursery days these signals often appear as early as 18.15, on a quiet weekend day only around 19.30. Building the evening around those early signals saves you the grim part.

The typical course: weeks 1 to 8

Sleep follows the settling-in process with a lag. In the first days your child is only there for an hour or two, often with you. It becomes tiring once full days, lunch and the nap are added and you are no longer nearby — usually somewhere between weeks three and five.

The nap problem: shorter, later or missing altogether

The nap is the most common cause of nursery-related sleep problems — and the one you have least influence over. Three versions come up particularly often.

Your child sleeps for less time than at home

45 minutes instead of 90. No child makes up that missing three-quarters of an hour by falling asleep later. Bring bedtime forward by 20 to 30 minutes on those days; if the nap is skipped entirely, by around 45 minutes. Our bedtime chart by age gives you a reference point.

Your child sleeps later

If the nap only starts at 13.30 and ends at 15.00, just five hours of awake time remain before the evening — too little sleep pressure for a 19.00 bedtime. Moving bedtime earlier doesn’t help here: ask the team not to lay your child down before 12.15, and expect 20 to 30 minutes later than usual in the evening.

Your child doesn’t sleep at nursery at all

Some children simply cannot let go in a group. The evening is then your only lever: supper from around 17.15, routine from 18.00, lights out at 18.45. It feels absurdly early and still works surprisingly often. If your child is at that transition anyway, our article on dropping the nap will help — although starting nursery is rarely the right moment for it.

Agreements with the nursery team that genuinely help

Nursery teams are used to talking about sleep — but they can only take into account what they know. Four topics are worth raising, put concretely rather than in general terms.

Sleep times. “At home Lina sleeps between 12.30 and 14.00. Could you try not to lay her down before 12.15? Waking her later than 14.30 would make our evening difficult.”

Falling-asleep support. “Lina falls asleep if someone briefly rests a hand on her back — not stroking, just resting there.” The more precise it is, the easier it is to put into practice.

Comforter and familiar things. “Can the rabbit come into the sleep room? At home he is a fixed part of falling asleep.” A second, identical one at home stops the night collapsing because the rabbit is at nursery.

Feedback. “Could you tell us briefly at pick-up from when to when she slept?” That single piece of information decides whether you get the bed ready at 19.00 or at 18.30. Many nurseries note it down anyway; you only need to ask.

The evening on nursery days: an example from 17.00 to 19.30

On nursery days, less is almost always more. Your child has already had eight hours of programme; an extra trip to the playground or a big shop makes the evening harder. A sequence that works well for many families:

• 17.00 — Arriving. Coat, shoes, then 15 minutes of nothing: sitting on the floor, child on your lap, no questioning about the day. Many children only start talking once the pressure is off.
• 17.30 — Supper, deliberately early. A hungry child falls asleep less easily; a child who has eaten well settles.
• 18.00 — Quiet phase in the bedroom: blocks, a picture book, lying on the rug together. No screens, no boisterous games.
• 18.30 — Wash or bath, teeth, pyjamas. On very tired days a wash is enough — baths wake some children up again.
• 18.50 — Routine in bed: two books, always the same sequence, same order, same song. You’ll find suggestions in our collection of bedtime routine ideas.
• 19.10 to 19.30 — Lights out, you stay sitting for a few more minutes. On days without a nap, move this whole sequence forward by 20 to 45 minutes.

Physical closeness beats entertainment in this phase: ten minutes lying together calm more than a game that revs things up again.

Night waking — and the weekend as a recovery window

During settling-in, calling out at night is common. Respond fairly quickly and calmly: go in briefly, confirm quietly, rest a hand, leave again. This is not a step backwards, but a temporary adjustment. Do avoid new permanent solutions — hourly carrying, a bottle in the middle of the night, falling asleep only in your bed — that you will laboriously have to undo later. There is more on this in our article on night waking.

The weekend is the most important recovery window — as long as you don’t overload it. Letting your child sleep 30 to 45 minutes longer in the morning makes sense; two hours shifts the body clock and makes Monday harder. Keep one of the two days deliberately empty. A slightly longer nap and an early Sunday evening are the best preparation for the new nursery week.

Common mistakes in the first weeks

A later bedtime because the child still seems awake. The mistake with the biggest consequences: it reinforces the overtiredness, and therefore the very problem it is meant to solve.

Several changes at once. Starting nursery plus moving into her own room plus giving up the dummy is too much. Push everything that can wait back by six to eight weeks.

Shortening the routine when it gets late. Counterproductive — it is precisely on demanding days that a child needs predictability. Better: start earlier and keep the same length. How much stability a familiar routine provides is often underestimated.

Trying something new every day. Three evenings with the same approach tell you more than three different approaches.

Dropping the nap at home “because it gets in the way in the evening”. Before the third birthday this usually leads to more night waking, not less.

When it is no longer about settling in

The vast majority of these sleep changes pass on their own. There are, however, signs that do not belong to settling in and should be discussed with your paediatrician: a sleep disturbance that continues unchanged beyond eight to ten weeks; regular loud snoring, visibly laboured breathing or pauses in breathing during sleep; and marked daytime tiredness even though the night was long enough on paper. If it looks more like a sleep regression at two years, the distinction is worth making.

Throughout this period a reliable place of rest is a real support. If the day was unpredictable, it helps that at least her own bed is the same every evening: same place, same textiles, same light. A bed your child can climb into and out of by herself takes further pressure out of the evening.

Frequently asked questions about sleep after starting nursery

How long does it take for sleep to settle after starting nursery?

For most children, between six and eight weeks. The first two weeks often pass unnoticed because the hours are short; the change usually becomes visible from week three. If nothing has calmed down after eight to ten weeks, take a closer look at bedtime and at the nap.

My child doesn’t nap at nursery at all. What should I do in the evening?

Bring bedtime forward by 20 to 45 minutes on those days. A child who used to nap for 90 minutes at home and doesn’t nap at all at nursery builds up a sleep debt that a later bedtime will not make up for. Important: move the evening earlier, don’t shorten the routine.

Should I let my child sleep in at the weekend?

Around 30 to 45 minutes longer is fine. Much more than that shifts the body clock and makes Sunday evening and Monday morning harder. A calm, low-stimulation day with a slightly longer nap and an early evening is more useful.

My child gets completely wired in the evening. Does she need more activity?

Usually it is the other way round. When a toddler stays awake past the point of natural tiredness, she often becomes physically more restless. It looks like energy, but it is more often a sign of being overtired. An evening that starts 20 to 30 minutes earlier frequently changes this within days.

Can my child take a comforter to nursery?

In almost all Swiss nurseries and playgroups this is possible if you ask. A familiar object from home helps many children fall asleep in unfamiliar surroundings. A second, identical one at home is very practical.

When should I see the paediatrician about sleep?

If the difficulties continue unchanged after eight to ten weeks, if your child regularly snores at night, breathes with visible effort or has pauses in breathing, or if she is noticeably tired during the day even though the night was long enough.

This article is for general information only and does not replace paediatric advice. If problems persist, please speak to your paediatrician.