Siblings sharing a room: how to get both sleeping well

Two children, a rented flat, one children's room: in Switzerland that is the rule rather than the exception. Some families put their children together because the floor plan leaves no choice, others by conviction, because the siblings never want to be apart anyway. Both work well – provided you settle a few things beforehand. Because when siblings share a room, it is rarely the number of square metres that decides how quiet the nights are, but everything around it: who goes to bed when, how the beds are positioned, how noisy the room is at rest. Here you will read at what age it becomes realistic, which three conflicts always come up, and how to manage the move-in-together in two weeks.

The short answer: a shared room usually becomes realistic from around 12 to 18 months, once the younger child's night-time sleep is stable. During the first year, the official recommendation is for a baby to sleep in its own cot in the parents' room. The three classic stumbling blocks: different bedtimes, waking each other up, and differing sleep needs. All three can be solved with staggered bedtimes, clear zoning and a constant background sound. Allow about two weeks for things to settle.

Siblings, one room: at what age it works well

The right moment depends less on the older child's age than on the younger one's night-time sleep. As long as a child wakes several times a night and is loud about it, the sibling pays the price. Rule of thumb: only put them together once the younger one sleeps through most nights, or settles again without prolonged crying.

One point first: during the first year, official recommendations are for a baby to sleep in its own cot in the parents' room – along with sleeping on its back, a room temperature of around 18 °C, and a cot without loose blankets or pillows. For a baby under twelve months, the siblings' room is therefore not the right place. Afterwards, patience still pays off: a child who still needs comforting twice a night at 14 months is better off waiting. More on this: at what age a room of their own makes sense.

The three typical conflicts – and one solution each

1. Different bedtimes

The classic: the three-year-old is tired at 7.00 pm, the six-year-old finds that deeply unfair. If both have to go to bed at the same time, someone always loses – either the older one lies awake for an hour and disturbs, or the younger one is kept up and becomes overtired. The solution is not a compromise in the middle but staggering: two time slots with rituals of different lengths. Our bedtime chart shows how far apart the times may sit.

2. Waking each other up

For the first week or two, one often wakes the other; after that it calms down, because children get used to their sibling's noises surprisingly quickly. The most common mistake at this stage is taking the waking child straight out of the room – that teaches it that waking up brings a reward. Better: go in quietly, settle briefly, stay in the room, then leave again.

3. Differing sleep needs

Two children of the same age can differ by 60 to 90 minutes in how much sleep they need – that is normal and not a question of parenting. If one is wide awake at 6.00 am and the other would sleep until 7.15 am, you need a morning rule rather than a discussion: the early riser leaves the room quietly and may look at books in the living room. A clock with a colour signal makes that understandable even for three-year-olds. More on this: how much sleep your child needs.

Staggered bedtimes: a routine for 7.00 pm and 8.15 pm

Staggering sounds like hard work, but becomes routine after a few evenings. The trick is to sell the waiting time to the older child as a privilege, not as a punishment. A routine to adapt:

• 6.15 pm: supper, then both into the bathroom together.
• 6.40 pm: the younger child goes into the room with one parent: two books, a song, dimmed light. The older one has their "big time" outside – Lego, a puzzle, an audio story with headphones.
• 7.00 pm: lights out for the little one.
• 7.00–8.00 pm: quiet time outside the room, with no screens towards the end.
• 8.05 pm: the older child goes in quietly, a quick cuddle, a story in a whisper.
• 8.15 pm: lights out.

Three details decide whether this works: the older child gets its own clearly named time with a parent, otherwise it feels pushed aside. The second round in the room stays short and quiet, ten minutes at most. And both rituals always run in the same order.

Zoning the room: every child needs its own territory

A shared room rarely fails because of floor area, but because everything belongs to everyone. Every child needs a territory – it does not have to be big: its own bed, its own basket or shelf compartment, its own light source, and a spot on the wall for its own pictures. After that, a surprising number of arguments disappear by themselves.

For dividing the space, low open furniture works better than tall cupboards: a shelf unit 70 to 90 centimetres high splits the room but lets light and sightlines through, and if it is accessible from both sides, each child uses its own side. A curtain on a ceiling track disappears completely during the day. Two separate light sources are essential: if one child wants to read while the other sleeps, it needs a small lamp by the bed rather than the ceiling light. More tricks: setting up a small children's room.

Bed positions and minimum distances

Three arrangements have proved themselves: parallel along the same wall with a gap, lengthwise along opposite walls, or at right angles. Head to head is the worst solution, because whispering and coughing reach the other child directly. Keep in mind:

• 60–70 cm of walkway along each bed, so that nobody has to climb over the other child.
• At least 60 cm between two parallel beds – below that it becomes tight acoustically and socially.
• No bed right next to the door: otherwise every opening wakes the wrong child; around a metre of distance is enough.
• No bed under the window, especially in winter: cold radiation and draughts are noticeably disruptive.
• A clear centre: a square metre of free floor is worth more than one more piece of furniture.

Noises, white noise – and when one child wakes the other

A completely silent room is the least favourable state for two children, because every single sound stands out. A quiet background sound blurs the difference between silence and a sudden cough – a white noise device, a fan in the next room, or a looped recording. Keep the volume low, roughly like a shower heard from the room next door, and place the source one to two metres from the head of the bed. Consistency is decisive: a sound that switches off after 30 minutes can actually encourage waking.

And if it happens anyway? Keep a simple log for a week: who wakes when, for how long, and what came before? A pattern often emerges – always around 11.30 pm, always after a nursery day without a nap, always when the room was too warm. Only then do you change something. If the same child is the trigger for weeks on end, let it sleep elsewhere for two to three weeks and then bring them back together – that is not failure, but an interim stage.

Moving in together in two weeks: the settling-in plan

An abrupt switch rarely works. Allow two weeks – not at the same time as a house move, a nursery start or a return from holiday.

• Days 1–3: rearrange the room together, with both children deciding where their bed goes. They still sleep separately, but both play there during the day.
• Days 4–6: the nap or quiet time takes place in the shared room. In the evening both go in, and the older one comes out again after the ritual.
• Days 7–10: first shared nights with staggered bedtimes; some restlessness is normal.
• Days 11–14: fine-tuning of bed spacing, light, background sound and times. Only now should you decide on bigger changes.

Otherwise leave the evening routine unchanged and announce the change several days in advance. A child who was allowed a say tends to defend the new arrangement rather than fight it.

Common mistakes in a shared children's room

• Moving in together too early. If the younger child's sleep is unstable, both children pay for it.
• The same bedtime for different ages. That produces overtiredness or giggling in the dark.
• Everything belongs to both. Without a territory of their own, evening conflicts take hold.
• Taking the waking child straight out. That rewards waking up.
• Only a ceiling light. Then one child decides how the other's evening goes.
• Giving up after three nights. The first few nights are never representative.
• Too much furniture. Two beds, two storage zones, a clear centre – a room rarely takes more.

Which beds suit a shared room

With two beds in one room, different criteria apply than for a single bed. First, low: the closer the sleeping surface is to the floor, the calmer night-time trips are and the more harmless a roll-out. Second, the same height and a similar look – two very different beds reliably lead to the question of who has the better one. Third, no hard edges in the circulation zone: where two children move about in the dark at night, an upholstered bed edge is kinder than a wooden edge at shin height. Fourth, no loft bed for small children, tempting though the space saving is – the criteria are here: at what age a loft bed is an option. For toddlers, two low single beds are almost always the better answer, not least because they are easier to split across two rooms later on. On size it pays to look ahead: 90 or 120 cm of bed width decides whether a second purchase is due in three years.

When separate rooms make sense again

A shared room is not a decision for ever. Three signals suggest a separation is due. First, school age: with homework, reading evenings and arrangements with friends, a child needs an undisturbed place – and goes to bed later. Second, the approach of puberty: when a child closes the door or owns things it does not want to share, privacy is no longer a luxury. Third, very different rhythms over months – an early riser and a late-to-bed child, say, taking sleep from each other at both ends of the night.

If there is no second room, an interim solution helps: a floor-to-ceiling curtain, fixed time slots in which each child has the room to itself, and a second retreat somewhere in the flat. And: many children do not want to be separated at all – ask them before you rearrange everything.

Frequently asked questions about siblings sharing a room

At what age can siblings share a room?

It becomes realistic from around 12 to 18 months, once the younger child's night-time sleep is stable. During the first year, the official recommendation is for a baby to sleep in its own cot in the parents' room, not in the siblings' room.

Won't siblings in the same room wake each other up?

This happens more often in the first few weeks and far less afterwards: children get used to each other's noises quickly. It helps to run a quiet background sound and not to carry a waking child straight out of the room.

How do we organise different bedtimes?

Stagger them in two blocks: the younger child starts the evening routine 45 to 75 minutes earlier, while the older one spends that time quietly outside the room and joins later with a short, quiet version of the ritual.

What should we do if one child wakes the other every night?

First observe for a week when and why it happens. Often a fixed time, thirst, an overly warm room or too early a bedtime is behind it. If it continues, let the waking child sleep elsewhere for two to three weeks and then bring them back together.

How much space do two beds need in a child's room?

Allow roughly 60 to 70 centimetres of walkway along each bed. Between two parallel beds, 60 centimetres is the practical minimum. From about ten square metres, a shared room can be organised well.

When do separate rooms make sense again?

There is no fixed age limit. It usually comes up at school age, when homework and different bedtimes need more space, and at the latest as puberty approaches. Very different rhythms over several months are also a good reason.

This article is for general information only and does not replace advice from a paediatrician. If problems persist, please contact your paediatrician.